“Friendship in marriage is the spark that lights an everlasting flame.” Fawn Weaver
It was my birthday yesterday. We have a tradition in our family where every year on Birthdays and Christmas, we write letters. In closing this year’s birthday letter to me, my wife wrote, “For my husband and best friend.”
Friends in Marriage
This was the very first time I have ever considered the “friendship” aspect of my marriage. Friendship certainly has not always been a reality in our marriage. I have a guess that it’s yet another gift of older age, ushering in calming effects. The older Pam and I get, the easier we find it to accept each other and withhold ugly judgments.
Now, my friendship at home in no ways precludes meaningful friendships outside the marriage and, obviously, they are necessary for self-car and varied intimacies.
Marriage is More than Transactional
Still, to enjoy intimate friendship with a spouse, like stated in the quote above, “… is the spark that lights an everlasting flame.” For… although “in love,” marriage is all too frequently merely a transactional relationship in which each party fulfills duties to the other and for the family. I doubt that “friend” even makes the list of goals for most marriages and yet there are few matters valued more.
So, what value does friendship bring to a marriage? It means, for me, increased conversation about feelings, fears, and deeper openness.
A “Covid Quarantine Benefit”
I think it began during Covid; we came to rely on each other for increased conversation and just hanging together. Has friendship, for Pam and me, been the result of the pandemic? Perhaps it has. Most importantly, we have not reduced our levels of conversation from early covid day until today.
Yes. Friendship: A most valued newfound truth.
Find a New Spark in Your Marriage
Make Your Spouse Your Friend
Photo courtesy of Punnarong at istockphoto