“A Good Man is Hard to Find”

Not only is this the title of Flannery O’Connor’s most famous short story but, more important, it’s also the mantra of almost every unmarried woman in probably the entire world. When I was a minister to a thousand single adults it certainly was.

So what are the attributes of this “good man?” I imagine if I were to take a poll I would most likely find things like: kind, tenderhearted, responsive to need, loving, spiritual, faithful, sense of humor, and the like. Although many would never admit it, but good looking and in shape never hurts!
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TODAY there is one single greatest obstacle to my success in life. I CAN GET STUCK IN A LAZY RUT!!!

Before I semi-retired in 2010, or so, I was way too busy to be lazy. I had too much to do: my job (25 hrs per wk), coaching baseball (25 hrs per wk), volunteering at church, cooking for the family, devoting time to my wife and son (other than baseball)… the list goes on.

Then I slowed down… a lot: very little work, no baseball, my wife was working 50-60 hours per week, my son lived out of state… I had nothing to do. Worse, I was just too “stuck in a lazy rut” to find something to do. I didn’t even read. Get this: I stopped painting because I was too lazy to change my clothes. LOL!!!

I think I felt that if I wasn’t doing something really productive it wasn’t worth doing at all. Nothing was worth doing! I’m not sure what filled my days. I just didn’t feel like doing anything, except going to movies. I saw almost every movie that was out in those days.

So I sat around and whined about not having anything to do. I know, wah, wah, wah.
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I was sitting with a friend in a Mexican restaurant in Peoria, AZ-where the Padres and Mariners play Spring Baseball. He was experiencing one of those oh-so healthy periods of questioning the legitimacy of his faith tradition. He asked me directly, “Charlie, do you believe in God and what you’ve been taught about the Bible with 100% assurance?”

Such an easy question to answer; I responded, “Of course not!” I might believe 100%, but I can’t be 100% sure that my belief is “for sure.”

A bishop once told me, “Charlie, we confidently believe in our faith, but with modesty and humility, always knowing that we could be wrong.” There are indeed certain genuine universal truths but we, as finite humans, are incapable of grasping all the mysteries of God.

“Almost” Sure

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Christians are hypocrites.

But then so are Democrats and Republicans, Muslims and Buddhists and Jews, Green Peace and PITA, and yes, probably even the Dali Lama and Gandhi.

True Believers are always hypocrites. They can’t help it. It comes with the territory. There are only 2 ways to escape hypocritical behavior: (1) Be a perfect adherent to your belief system, or (2) be a bland, boring and mostly cowardly person that is really not committed to any philosophy, person, religion, or politic.
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I have a big thing about “time.”

Some people spend time to buy money. They’re the dealers of the world–always in search for “the deal.” They search the Internet endlessly for the best price, use coupons, shop on Black Fridays, drive miles to Outlet malls to get deals, and return items after it has gone on sale to get a lower price. All this takes time—a lot of it.

Others spend money to buy time. They know what they want and where it is sold. They buy it and go home. I’m one of those. Don’t get me wrong. On big items (cars and houses) I know the right deal, and will only spend time to save a lot.

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You’re right. Ben Franklin (or whoever) didn’t put it quite like that. For some, this title may seem like the Procrastinator’s Dream. But for highly productive people it’s a lifestyle mantra that drives all they do.

You should only do today what you can only do today. Huh? In other words, some things are more important (not more urgent) than others. DO THE IMPORTANT THINGS! And don’t waste your time with the small stuff until you absolutely have to.

My goal here is to help you make room to discover and reinforce your personal authenticity. That requires concentrated reflection. When you are so busy with small stuff then you never have time to reflect. You really do need some time every day to simply be quiet, rest and reflect. And… if you don’t MAKE TIME you’ll never HAVE TIME to do it.
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Society mocks dreamers… until they accomplish something amazing. Then suddenly they’re heroes.

But dreaming big is dangerous. I mean… what if you fail? Or what if people laugh at your dream? Well, take it from me, they will. They will laugh their heads off because they themselves are too scared to take a chance. “Naw. Let’s play it safe,” they’ll say. “Let’s not risk our reputation.” And I respond, “What reputation?” “You mean the reputation you have for sitting on your tukus and doin nothin?”
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