“Most of us would be seized with fear if our bodies went numb, and would do everything possible to avoid it, yet we take no interest at all in the numbing of our souls. —EPICTETUS” ― Ryan Holiday, Stillness is the Key

Of the three books in Ryan Holiday’s trilogy of Stoic insights my favorite is the final book, Stillness is the Key. Although Ego is the Enemy and The Obstacle is the Way both offer brilliant insights, I believe the fullest life begins with intentional daily alone time, where stillness and contemplation are king.
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“You don’t have to be a ‘person of influence’ to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.” Scott Adams

At this very moment I am attending a leadership conference with GLN (Global Leadership Network). Only a couple hours ago, the president of the organization, Tom De Vries, said that perhaps the key attribute to great leaders was found in their ability to “influence” others.
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“How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.” Spanish Proverb

Pam and I recently returned from holiday in Spain. The proverb above is Spain, so famous for afternoon siestas. In my opinion, this practice betrays an age-old yet very sophisticated understanding of the richness of a life that is not focused on work. For many Spaniards work is something “you do,” not someone “you are.”
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“I still feel no distress, since I am unbruised by the present and unconcerned about the future.”  Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

The more widely I read and travel internationally the more convinced I am of the “wisdom of the ages.”
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“… the meaning of life is found in every moment of living…” Viktor Frankl

For years I have written about how much I believe that “life is largely a choice.” We can’t always choose our circumstances (although often we can), but we can choose how we respond to our circumstances. Viktor Frankl wrote his most famous book on this subject, Man’s Search for Meaning, based on the lessons he learned from Nazi concentration camps during the holocaust.

Choice Considered

It is written: “Frankl concludes that the meaning of life is found in every moment of living; life never ceases to have meaning, even in suffering and death.” In my mind, to arrive at such a conclusion begins with “deep thought” and with “a mind predisposed toward goodness.” Both of which are a choice.

Who controls your mind? You or others. The default option is to allow others and our past to determine the value of life, while the progressive action is to make personal decisions to do so.

Let me discuss this a bit…

Choice Defined

Let’s get one thing clear to begin with: I fully believe that your life can be both fulfilled and immensely meaningful. If I didn’t detest the word “success” I would be tempted to say, “Yes. You can enjoy a successful life. (Only if success is defined on deeply personal convictions and by the elimination of disquieting voices—both internal and external.)

Regrettably, fulfillment, what I consider to be life’s ultimate accomplishment, comes only as the result of making a choice to unlearn the restrictive narratives we have been told most of our life, unhelpful habits which lead to distraction from essential goodness, and our seemingly insatiable need for power, prestige, and possessions.

As I have written a few times in the past, each day we are faced with two necessary opportunities and choices: (1) to live fully in the present with joy, paying attention and responding to life as it occurs, and (2) to know that whatever we do today is an adventure into Life 101: Lessons for the me (or the wine) I will become tomorrow.

Making “Choice” a Habit

Habits, disciplines, and rituals are customary with all of us, but how many of these are intentionally practiced to lead us to greater understanding of ourselves and the world we live in?

In the last couple of years especially I have come to the conclusion that I, personally, cannot reap the everyday (as well as future) value of my life without contemplation and a bit of journaling. I have learned that I must have regular times set aside for these two essential activities and rare is the day I miss them.

A Choice to Become

As I read the history of deep thinkers and people who make a difference with their lives, I find similar habits: one thing that I find extant in all these people: setting aside time to think (and usually to write—even briefly).

When Contemplation

Becomes Essential for Life

Photo courtesy of fizkes at istockphoto

“I am a Weaver and a Thief. I steal threads from others and weave them into a tapestry of my own.”

Creative ideas are rarely original. More often, creative ideas evolve from the influence others.

This is How You Lose the Time War

On a recommendation from Tim Ferriss for the novella This is How You Lose the Time War, I picked a copy and, as advertised, I couldn’t set it down. Exquisitely as charming as it was insightful, the book instilled a host of new ideas of time and love and even the deep nature of God.
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“Things work better when they are unplugged and plugged back in again.” Attributed to Anne LaMott

How many times have the words of Anne LaMott proven to be true for “fixing” problems with your computer, phone, tablet, or TV? We all know that anything electronic frequently only needs a “restart” or “turn off and back on again” as the means to repair troublesome issues.
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“We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.” Anaïs Nin

Terry Hershey, in his post Sabbath Moment, writes frequently about a personal (and perhaps societal) malady called scotoma which means, in essence, “selective blindness.” His point is that we all seem to have a dose of this selective blindness.
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