Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
How come some of the people I really like today are the very same ones I often intensely disliked when I first met them?
I find it rather comical. If I don’t like you on first impression it is most likely because there is something about you that reminds me of me—generally a part of me that I am not particularly fond of. But after I spend more time with you I discover the similarities and then the next thing I know we are the best of friends.
At the same time this principle provides a unique opportunity for personal growth and wisdom. Instead of bemoaning the reasons why you may dislike another person you may consider that, instead, they function like an undesirable mirror. I like the little quip by author Chuck Palahniuk:
“The difference between how you look and how you see yourself is enough to kill most people. And maybe the reason vampires don’t die is because they can never see themselves in photographs or mirrors.” Haunted
Since the option of becoming a vampire is unlikely, you are stuck with you. I can’t imagine a better person to be stuck with, especially if you are a personal growth and wisdom seeker. Mahatma Gandhi reckoned:
“It is good to see ourselves as others see us. Try as we may, we are never
able to know ourselves fully as we are, especially the evil side of us.
This we can do only if we are not angry with our critics but will take in good heart whatever they might have to say.”
So, if you want to discover things about yourself that you might want to work on, just evaluate the things in other people you don’t like.
When I Don’t Like You
Is It Because I Really Don’t Like Me?
Photo courtesy of SIphotography at istockphoto