It’s funny how some distance / Makes everything seem small / And the fears that once controlled me / Can’t get to me at all / It’s time to see what I can do / To test the limits and break through / No right, no wrong, no rules for me, / I’m free! / Let it go, let it go! From the movie, Frozen, Walt Disney Music Company
Yep, how many times have you been forced to make the decision that the time has come for you to simply, Let It Go!
Life is Difficult
Life is difficult. Relationships tumble and falter; no matter how hard you try, your hopes are crushed; your boss embarrasses you in front of colleagues; once-loved hobbies or habits lose their appeal; of course, the list is endless. And then you have the “yourself” and your emotional needs that often prevent you from enjoying the potential life you have right in front of you—things like pride and anger and retribution. Things you need to let go.
Whew! It can get ugly. That’s why I love Disney’s humongously successful animation, Frozen, and with it, the multi-award winning song, Let It Go. How often are you frozen in life, fearful (or incapable) of letting go so you can move on to something better? Few decisions and actions are better to thaw out your frozen hopes and emotions than the decision to “let it go!”
Isn’t it odd that, although the best thing to do is let it go, it is also the hardest thing in the world is to actually do. Haunting thoughts and beliefs, rejections, and abuse linger troublingly deep in your psyche. Yuk!
How to “Let It Go”
I recently wrote that I am finally emerging from a hole in my soul that felt unbearable and refused to go away. Although some pain of it all still lingers ever so lightly, for the most part, I have found a way to Let It Go.
The question is “How?” Much of the time, the things you need to let go of most are the very same things that refuse to go away. Sorry, but I have no answers, only suggestions. Here are a few things to consider.
- Time: Like the lines in the song, “It’s funny how some distance / Makes everything seem small. “Letting it go” is a process, beginning with a conscious choice to make your life the one you want it to be. Time is the best healer… but only when you actively pursue a healthy attitude.
- Confession: No, I don’t mean the religious kind of confession (although it certainly wouldn’t hurt). I mean self-confession. The first person to confess your fears and hurts to is yourself. It does you no good to blame, even when the problem is primarily the other person’s fault. The issue is about how you allow other people to make such an impact on you. Only you have final control over your mind and emotions.
- Pursue Your Passion: Replace the pain with the pleasure of doing something you love to do. Personally, I have three go-to’s: writing, painting, and movies, lots and lots of movies. I have friends that use the gym, the sports field, hobbies, getting together with friends, eating at fine restaurants, and even fixing up the house. Be productive and you will be a peace, free from things you need to let go of.
- Self-Confidence: There is a “you” inside you that is good and worthy, with a long list of wonderful attributes. The more I work with friends struggling with addictions the more I discover awesome people that believe strongly they are worthless, invaluable human beings. It breaks my heart, because it is a lie. Every one of them has a piece in them that I envy—if only they believed it.
Self-confidence is yet another choice you get to make. It is something you work on regularly. It was when I was reading the journal of famous martial arts expert Bruce Lee that I discovered he was also a practicing philosopher of life. One certainly worth paying heed to. Quoting Bruce Lee (all caps are in his journal):
“I know through the principle of autosuggestion, any desire that I PERSISTENTLY hold will eventually seek expression… therefore, I will devote 10 minutes daily to DEMANDING of myself the development of SELF-CONFIDENCE.”
I am impressed that Bruce Lee made his work on self-confidence a “daily practice.” It is something he worked on daily for ten minutes. What if we all tried that? I think it would work. How about you?
Back on topic: Let It Go! There is a time for everything: A time to hold on and a time to let go. Far too often we hold on way too long. Don’t. Let it go!
Letting It Go
Is More About You Than the Issue You Want to Let Go
Photo courtesy of allanswart at istockphoto