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Intentionality: A Flashlight in the Fog

January 19, 2019 by Charlie Hedges − 0 Comments

There’s no way to become great overnight, but in the marathon of success, it takes a lot of intention to see you through each day of the journey. Lewis Howes

In the last couple of years I have found myself reluctant to establish personal annual goals, as if my primary focus in life is to somehow attain a number of predetermined objectives. I just don’t think my personal life is hard-wired to live that way any longer.
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#96 Taryn Voget “Let Go and Trust Life”

January 15, 2019 by Charlie Hedges − 2 Comments



Today marks the first time in two years of podcasting that we will do a show on planning for the New Year of 2019. And now it is two consecutive weeks. That’s kind of surprising since much of my past has been about Life Planning yet we have not produced a single show on that topic. And today our approach to life planning may be strikingly new for most of our listeners but it is a process I have used most of 2018 and I have found it quite gratifying as well as productive.

In order to help set us straight on this unusual path I am with my special friend and spiritual guide Taryn Voget. As a busy Executive Coach, entrepreneur and author of the delightful book, Trust Fall, Taryn is full of out of the box thinking when it comes to most matters in life and life planning.

I asked Taryn to write a brief paragraph on her thoughts toward New Year’s planning and these are the provocative words she wrote:

Many of us push ourselves to continually grow and expand.  But what if we don’t need to work so hard? What if life knows exactly where to find us to deliver the experiences we need for our own evolution? And what if there is no real action necessary on our part other than to be more aware of life’s bigger plan? This podcast explores new ideas about our own evolution and how life is here to serve our highest destiny and greatest expansion…always.

So let’s all be ready to have our traditional view of life planning challenged by the insightful and innovative thoughts of Taryn Voget.

You can reach Taryn at

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Terry Hershey: #95 New Year’s Identity Goals

January 9, 2019 by Charlie Hedges − 0 Comments

Show Notes 

You know, at this time of year most everyone will be blogging and podcasting in some form on New Year’s Resolutions or Goals. As much distaste as I have for the idea of New Year’s Resolutions, mostly because they rarely make any difference in your life, I think The Next Chapter would be remiss if we failed to address the subject.

I find the bulk of my reluctance to embrace the notion New Year’s Resolutions has to do with the notion that these goals are most often about accomplishments that may or may not have anything to do with internal realities like character or personal identity issues. Basically, what I am saying is that, with New Year’s Resolutions, we can fall into a trap of focusing on what we do rather than who we are.

Today my conversation is with my good friend, Terry Hershey, who has made the “who you are” question the focus of his vocation. As an avid reader, author, renowned public speaker, and life coach Terry is as close an expert on this subject as one can be.

So let’s bring on Terry Hershey to enlighten us on this most important subject of Identity Processes over New Year’s Resolutions.

You can reach Terry at

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Managing the Tender Child Within

January 5, 2019 by Charlie Hedges − 2 Comments

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. Henri Nouwen

I often refer to the source of my times of misery as activated by the Demon within me. Generally I am talking allegorically and not factually. (However, I do believe in evil forces with the intent of disenfranchising us from the love of God.) But mostly I speak figuratively when I talk about my Demon. But that is not about to prevent me from talking about that Demon today.
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2 Traditions for Growing Enriching Relationships

December 29, 2018 by Charlie Hedges − 3 Comments

“Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.” W. Somerset Maugham

Few, if any, things will prove to be more important in your life than your relationships, especially your most valuable ones. There a small handful of people in my life that really counts deeply over the long run. For me my family holds a superior place in my landscape of meaningful relationships. My wife, Pam, and my son, Austin, are undoubtedly the most important people to me.

But powerful, long-lasting relationships don’t just survive “willy-nilly.” They require an intentional sort to of love that surpasses almost anything else I do. By intentional I mean that there are certain things I do and ways I behave that are thoughtful, caring, loving and supportive.

For nearly our entire thirty-three year of marriage Pam and I have honored two annual traditions that indeed make a difference and neither of them requires anything more than a couple of joyful endeavors.

I’d like to tell you about these traditions so that you might consider them.

Tradition #1: Letters

We have created a habit of writing letters on three special days each year: Christmas, Birthdays, and Valentine’s Day (and sometimes on an anniversary). Our letters are not long exhausting tomes—one-half to one page. They consist of telling the other person why they are so special on that particular day. Undoubtedly, the Christmas letter seems to be the most important because we rehearse all the loving and caring behaviors we have so adored and appreciated by the other person over the past year.

Although he received letters from an early age, Austin joined in the letter writing process at about twelve years old and has continued for fourteen years. Since we all write letters to each other Austin and I have a competition to see who can make mom cry the most. This year he was the champ and I am so proud of him for doing so.

Our letters have truly become our most treasured gifts on Christmas morning. We always save them for last.

Tradition #2: Annual Relational Inventory

For all these years Pam and I look forward to our annual tradition of going away for two to three nights for fun, uninterrupted alone time, and for taking a “relational inventory.” What I mean by this is we go where no man has dared to go. We actually ask each other, “What kind of husband/wife was I last year?”

Believe me, when we are candid these have been both joyful times and very, very heartrending times of honesty. They are sometimes incorporated with tears and a “slap in the face” of a reality that generally goes undiscussed until too late. However, with each of us desiring to make our marriage last we each realize this tradition is essential.

This habit is far from an annual goal-setting process. It is personal and evocative. We have learned one question to wrap up our discussions that I now feel is essential. We DO NOT ask “what can I do better,” because experience has told me that creating such a list is more disruptive than it is helpful. How about this instead, “What do you need from me this next year?” That question allows for dialogue to come up with a solution that is acceptable to both of us.

FYI—In addition we spend a bit of time on budgets and potential vacations.

Finally, it’s still not too late for you to do an annual inventory on 2018 to lead to a rich 2019. Our two traditions have proved to be most impactful for all our family members. And there is nobody I would rather please and serve Pam and Austin.

Wishing you a rich 2019, filled with love and support.

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know…

Until You Ask


Photo courtesy of Pam Hedges